Dump Burger Makes Big Splash
Plattsmouth (NE) - The first order of business for new Burger King CEO B.C. was the re-introduction of B.K.'s short-lived Bathroom Burger, now renamed the Dump Burger/Dump Burger with Cheese and splattered with ropey strands of tangy stool sauce.
"I didn't get to where I am today by beating off to pie charts," said a defiant B.C. to a group of reporters outside of his reclusive Plattsmouth, Nebraska compound. "You may drive a new Taurus to work and wear shirts with number sizes instead of name sizes like LARGE, but that don't mean you know shit about restroom cuisine," B.C. said, grasping his chin with one hand and the back of his head with the other and quickly jerking it to one side, emitting a sound like someone snapped a celery stick in half.
B.C.'s second order of business was to fill a bed pan full of greasy quarters and send it to Ronald McDonald with a note reading, "Put a quarter in your ass 'cause the Big Mac is played out." Then B.C. paid somebody to shoot McDonald's mother in the knee caps.
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