Warehouse Worker Kicks

Office Guy's Ass

Shouldn't Have Talked Shit About

The Swing Shift

Omaha (NE) - Over-worked, under-paid, and exhausted from slinging "candle bras" (candelabras), Larry Morgensen reached the end of his rope. He snapped.

Earlier today, Larry screeched into the parking lot of his employer's corporate office in his '88 Lumina, loped into the lobby and announced "I'm Larry from the warehouse motherfucker and I'm going to kick your motherfuckin' ass!" The day before, Larry's supervisor Bob had written him up (again) for miscounting rooks.

"Me and Bud are going to fucking shit your fucking up!" Larry yelled as he ran towards a group of terrified cube farmers. With a crazed look in his eyes he yelped "I'm from the ware-house motherfucker!" and punched Josh Derr in the face. He then began circling the shocked coworkers, swinging in circles what appeared to be a sack full of doorknobs.

"I don't need this shit," Larry screamed. "You don't know what it's like in the warehouse motherfucker. It's 115 fucking degree in there. I can weld, I can saute, I can fucking lay carpet man, I don't need this shit. Hell with that, man, hell with that."

After several minutes intimidating the office workers, Larry reached into his pocket for his soft pack of Camels and realized he had left them in the Lumina. He dropped the doorknobs and backed out of the lobby door, pointing at the people and yelling, "Fuck all you guys. You don't know what what it's like in the warehouse.

The microwave in our break room is from 1977 motherfucker, that things got no buttons, just one big dial, and the timer's broken so you gotta stand there and watch your burrito cook. One time, this guy Randy, he forgot about his burrito and the burrito caught on fire and Rick tried to put out the fire but he couldn't so we all snuck out and pretended like it wasn't us but then Bud got caught red-handed walking out of the break room and Bob said he'd kick him down to Returns if he didn't fess up so Bud told Bob that Randy had done it and Bob told Randy that he was gonna have to print out packing slips for two weeks. That fucker was pissed off!"

Host So Gay

He Bursts Into Flames

E! Network Reportedly Dirty With

Knob Gobblers

Blasted By Critics,

Rumsfeld Smokes A Bowl

Click this link at your own risk.

(I'm not kidding)

http://www.winternet.com/~redright/graffix/holeshots/bighol06rr.jpg

OFF THE WAGON

Ultra Lush B.C. Assaults Jimmy Buffett

Cricket Pavilion - Phoenix (AZ) - Local drunk and slinky handler B.C., after being on the wagon for close to two years, blew it all yesterday at a Jimmy Buffett concert in Phoenix.

After waking at 5:00am the morning of the show and downing a fifth of vodka, B.C. drove to a local liquor store and bought 50lbs of ice and 15 cases of beer. He then dumped the ice into the back seat of his parents' Mercedes and piled the cans of beer on top of it, literally creating a giant drivable beer cooler. Next he drove to the parking lot of the Cricket Pavilion around 8:30am and sat in his car alone pounding beers until the show started.

Once inside the concert grounds, B.C. was a stumbling mess, walking through people's blankets and puking on small children. At one point in the show, Buffett called to the crowd "Fins up!" and B.C. became suddenly enraged, throwing a full bottle of Jose Cuervo at Buffett's head. Security personnel dragged B.C. out of the venue screaming "Fins down motherf@#ker , fins down!"

There are 252 image results for the words "purple monkey dishwasher" on Google.
http://images.google.com/images?svnum=50&hl=en&lr=&safe=off&rls=WZPA%2CWZPA%3A2005-25%2CWZPA%3Aen&q=purple+monkey+dishwasher&btnG=Search

As badly as Leonard needed a job, he decided to keep looking.

Tasty or Tasteless?

Burger King's Controversial Easter Menu

Omaha (NE) - In an effort to boost spring sales figures, Burger King has introduced a controversial new menu item that has got animal lovers hopping mad.

"Ask the naysayers, ask them: have you tried it?" says Plattsmouth dandelion swinger and all around big boy B.C. "It's freakin' awesome. The bunny meat is so tender that you'd swear it was squirrelgrade or better; it's like an orgy in your mouth," he said hungrily. "And you're donkey punching that rabbit carcass and the mustard is running down your face like a $20 whore in an Ed Powers video. It's really hot."

To continue the saga of B.K. Bob, click here.

100% Cotton
Pre-Shrunk
Mens Size XL
List Price: $14.99
Our Price: $5.97