Professor Lunch

Man Eats Own Body

Now Just A Torso And Head

Omaha (NE) - Local chain smoker and gad-about-town B.C. refused to buy groceries. Broke and weary from chronic masturbation, he resorted to pilfering his parents' cabinets for food. When that supply ran out, he took to eating condiments, coffee grounds, and uncooked spiral pasta. And when the well ran dry, B.C. turned to the last option he had: he began eating himself.

"At first it was out of necessity, to stay alive. Then it became a sexual thing. Before I knew it, I had roast foot in one hand and my dick in the other."

Before he knew it, B.C. had eaten every inch of flesh he could reach with his horny cannabalistic mouth and was left with nothing but his torso, the stump where his scrotum used to be, and his head (minus the lips).

These days, B.C. can frequently be seen darting around the streets of Plattsmouth in the specially designed tricycle he had made, steering with his teeth and braking with his scrot stump. He's always full of good cheer and often will mouth the words "Remember kids - don't eat yourself" with his gaping lipless orifice.

B.C.: our Omaha's Own award winner for March 1st.

Is it real? You decide: http://www.trosch.org/lif/cannibalism.html