America's Aging Squirrel Crisis
Storing Nuts No Longer Enough
Omaha (NE) - All you have to do is look around and the evidence that Squirrels are living to record ages these days is abundant.
You can't walk down the sidewalk without tripping over a squirrel. Neighborhoods are blanketed with squirrels. They've replaced rats as the animals "most likely to stream out of sewers." Even opening your front door and pushing a swath through the sea of squirrels on your front porch can be a difficult task. And this is just the beginning.
Elderly squirrels now account for a full 2/3 of the swelling squirrel population. No longer able to gather their own nuts, these aging rodents rely on nesting with their offspring. The adult children are generally put-out by the presence of their parents in the nests and the squirrels often bicker about the burden of now having to now gather nuts for four.
"Have you priced one of those tiny walkers lately?" asks the squirrel we interviewed for this story. "They're expensive as hell. Where do you even get one of those things? I had to find a used one on the Internet and it came without the tennis ball feet. I had to pit a couple of green olives and use those instead. Now Mom smells like a urine-tini."
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